He handled snakes. He dared them to bite. He put his lips to the strychnine and he inhaled. He took the news advice, spent less time indoors, tried drugs, tried church. The combination worked. Confused, but more than willing, that’s when it all stopped working. Tried nihilism, couldn’t afford the vacation. He took the new advice, spent less time outdoors, tried drugs again, tried church again. At last, he heard the voice, a black cloud with a gray lining. At least we had a choice, but he was cursed from the beginning. Night and day, he struggled to make his own way in time. We crawl just like our fathers, 10 miles to get a dime. It took a decade, the flip of a broken coin, said he owed it to the pastor who said he’d save this boy. Night and day, he struggled to make his own way in time. We crawl just like our mothers, 10 miles to get a dime. It took a decade to flip that broken coin. It took a decade to get it in his mind. At the gates of hell, pretend you’re saved. At the gates of hell, pretend you’re brave. With an everlasting rust, we dragged our names into the dust. Stripped of love, stripped of skin, built a wall, but they let us in. A steel box never unsealed, isolated in a verdant field. A phony ring of protection bought online from a fake white shaman. Clenched my teeth all the way down when my therapist said to smile. Kill your mind, lit by fire. Once, I dreamt we heard the choir. Away with god, away with love. Our hands are tied and stepped on.
credits
from Thank You For Being Here,
released October 7, 2022
Written by Katie Dvorak, Joshua Cyr, David Bello, Steven Buttery & Chris Teti
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