1. |
Afraid to Die (Live)
04:10
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This is where we live, and this is where we stay forever. Here inside a comfort nest, peace can swallow pain, digest it whole, and pass it on through honey stomachs, midguts of our lives. To do the work and get paid well before the sweat even dries, we have to make it so, even if we’re afraid to die. There are places we won’t go. We’ve built a cage in getting old. Remembering can lock you in, no going back, no matter when. We’ve got pictures in our heads: nostalgia without regret. The storm has flattened our wings. We’ve been waiting too long. “Give us hope,” cried the strong. Nothing that obvious could ever be wrong.
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Impossibly persistent, waiting for the chance to take over for the head that was amputated or had simply withered away. So eager to take the shape of the previous container, like some vile liquid. Try to boil it out, but the oven is off. Piled up underneath, supporting their feet are the husks of their priors, hollow like their values. But, it won’t hold their weight. Eventually they will start to crack. That vile liquid leaks but the pilot light might keep. Tear at your sprained neck and suffer. Scream out your sprained neck and suffer. Never get better and never do anything. And, if it still survives, just burn the whole house down. It won’t burn with the oven off. That damn persistent slime, just burn the whole house down. Never get better and never do anything. It’s like cooking with the oven off. Keep trying to cook with the oven off.
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3. |
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Ease the babies out of their wombs. Make your hair blonde, hop on the number four. Do you become the driver when they drop you off? I'll become the driver. You don’t take their money, ripping out their roots. They found two heads hollowed out in the sanctuary or on the dry roadside. This is a duel and she won. Congratulate her, send her thanks. "How great that someone's doing what many of us should have done." Put up a statue of the new killer out of chains in the waxing moon. Do you see my shadow off the stake? Are you Diana, the Hunter? Are you afraid of me now? Well, yeah. Shouldn’t I be? But, don’t you quiver. I am an instrument. I am revenge. I am several women. Follow the arrow from behind the line. Moving forward, the night begins. We are brave and strong, but you don’t quiver. Let’s write this down, together. Our hands on the same weapon. Make evil afraid of evil’s shadow.
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I crave more luxury disposables, a beautiful gym to have a heart attack in. Human life and burial is as important as survivors make it. Take my skin and make something. Burn the waste, leave my bones naked. You ate at your desk, life-wide pressure, stress-induced aneurysm. Dark spots cluster, a no-edged sword like an ATV on fire parked indoors. Human life and burial is as important as survivors make it. Take my skin and make something. Burn the waste, leave my bones naked. Everyone on my block who speaks English is drunk. Submit to the virus, un-bless yourself with luck. A rhizome of frayed nerves as the market bell sounds, dully wrapped in 20 suits stuffed with phoenix down. No church, no pews, no walls. Feedback drowns all of your calls. A curse on all our lips for the king who only sits. Deep breaths on a discount bus, ignore all else, put the price on us. The brain inside your phone knows how to get you home. Which of the three will you work for? Do you remember the name of the store? Rent space in a minimalist grid and dig for the treasures they hid. Which of the three will you pray for? Have you recalled the name of your lord? Tell the world how much you pay the man who prays for you. To Anne-Marie on my birthday, said she could help, but just sent money. Get an hour out of town, thought the state would turn around. Thought the job would work for you, thought the sky would still be blue. 23 by 84 by 28 turns to hope for peaceful death, evoked potential in droves. 23 by 84 by 28 turns to hope for peaceful death or at least two days off in a row.
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5. |
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He handled snakes. He dared them to bite. He put his lips to the strychnine and he inhaled. He took the news advice, spent less time indoors, tried drugs, tried church. The combination worked. Confused, but more than willing, that’s when it all stopped working. Tried nihilism, couldn’t afford the vacation. He took the new advice, spent less time outdoors, tried drugs again, tried church again. At last, he heard the voice, a black cloud with a gray lining. At least we had a choice, but he was cursed from the beginning. Night and day, he struggled to make his own way in time. We crawl just like our fathers, 10 miles to get a dime. It took a decade, the flip of a broken coin, said he owed it to the pastor who said he’d save this boy. Night and day, he struggled to make his own way in time. We crawl just like our mothers, 10 miles to get a dime. It took a decade to flip that broken coin. It took a decade to get it in his mind. At the gates of hell, pretend you’re saved. At the gates of hell, pretend you’re brave. With an everlasting rust, we dragged our names into the dust. Stripped of love, stripped of skin, built a wall, but they let us in. A steel box never unsealed, isolated in a verdant field. A phony ring of protection bought online from a fake white shaman. Clenched my teeth all the way down when my therapist said to smile. Kill your mind, lit by fire. Once, I dreamt we heard the choir. Away with god, away with love. Our hands are tied and stepped on.
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6. |
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Dissociate. Root-bound, in place. Try to relocate. You’re not made of your surrounding space. The container doesn’t matter when state of matter changes day to day. A graft on your cerebrum, a patchwork of formless juncture. Dissociate. Root-bound in place. Tongue of wet clay, only keeping shape by the pressure of bruxism’s face. You will never…
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7. |
Trouble (Live)
04:22
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Citywide on a narrow street side: a cold one, a mean one. Never took down the flyers, barely tried to get hired. Don’t look right, don’t act right. I swear the murals move at night, but I can’t record it on my phone. Continuity conditioned by interruption, whose history narrated by confusion. Dissolving in fluidities of dissolving work/life boundaries. Are you getting scared? You don’t look right. Warping figures in a distorted timeline. Keep our distance from the strangers in outline. We might take our lives too seriously. What else is comedy, but acceptance of the real when you can’t afford the hospital, and the ground is all banana peels? A crisp and brand new nightmare, some kind of clinical misery. The phone rings on a holiday. They rose and shook. I barely stood. They rose and shook the blood off. We put ourselves in cages, fed money through the bars, a career in trunks of cars. They rose and shook. I barely stood. They rose and shook the blood off. Citywide, they called it a promise. Clean your city, as if it’s our responsibility. Citywide, they called it a promise. Clean yourselves of depression and anxiety.
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8. |
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Whenever you find home
And if everyone belongs there
Feeling our bodies breaking down
Just trying to find a way out to a city so big
That it is bound to keep your secrets
Pack your seats high
Saying goodbye to your close friends
Making some promises like
“I’ll see you again”
So when will I see you again?
(New apartment complexes rising)
I know a few chords that could make you miss me
They ring and decay in this garage every few days
Just trying to figure out this beat
So if you want to come back East
Then maybe you can help me find it
(Take down your pictures, pack your belongings)
If your arms are just felt
When you hold me, I’ll feel held
We’ll sink in these notes
It never felt like this
It never felt like this
Tell me we belong here
If your arms become smoke
Then I’ll have nothing left to hold
We’ll dissipate with these notes
It shouldn’t feel like this
It shouldn’t feel like this
If everyone belongs here
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The World is a Beautiful Place & I am No Longer Afraid to Die Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Contact The World is a Beautiful Place & I am No Longer Afraid to Die
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